AshLey's Seventh Year
by Ash-Caro-Lynn
Summary: AshLey is on a mission... To manage to break 300 rules in 294 days! Join her in this quest containing twins, Metamorphagi, books, disgust, and prankery!
1. Care to Enlighten Me?

**Summary : The golden trio missed a lot. Meet Fred and George's inspiration… A student so amazing she could only be… ASHLEY! Join her in 294 days of rule breaking.**

**Author's Note : Decided to take a break from rewriting Diary of a Forgotten Girl. Some very immature humor. To lighten both my day and yours.**

**Disclaimer : I don't have more than $200. I don't own Harry Potter. I claim AshLey. The best prankster ever (based off of myself).**

The First Day!

"Excuse me, could I sit here?" he asked.

I looked him up and down. Clearly a muggleborn. I would have to go easy on him… "Sure thing, kiddo."

He gave me a grateful look and sat down.

"So, do you know how you get sorted?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied. "The books said nothing about that… Care to enlighten me?"

"Well… You have to give a speech in front of the entire school about which house you wish to be in and why… The teachers will judge you and pick your appropriate house," I explained.

He stared at me, worriedly. He prepared a speech in his head.

"Sorry to intrude, but what's your name?" I asked.

"Henry," he replied. "Henry Aarons. Yours?"

I quickly came up with an appropriate name. "Lullia Moons."

We shook hands. I grinned. He went back to speech-making, I back to my revision of the rules of Hogwarts.

'83. No telling first years how they are to be sorted before they are sorted, whether the truth or lies,' I read. Aw shiz. That was an accident.

Not.

We finally reached Hogsmeade. I skipped to a carriage while Henry went to the boats. Nobody joined me in the carriage. Why? I have no idea.

After the lonely ride to Hogwarts, I took a seat at the Gryffindor table near my Pranksters-in-the-Making, Fred and George Weasley. They looked at me with a look of awe. I grinned a sadistic grin back at them.

"What did you do?" asked Fred.

"Told an ickle first year how he'd be sorted…" I replied. "Believe his name was Henry Aarons."

George glared, but jerked his glance over to the front, where the firsties were being sorted.

"Aarons, Henry," called Professor McGonagall.

Henry sat on the stool, and began his carefully written speech.

"I would like to be placed in Gryffindor, as-" he began.

"What the devil is he doing?" asked Professor Snape.

"Mr. Aarons, who told you to recite a speech?" asked Professor McGonagall. Oh snap. I was dead beyond words.

"Lullia Moons," he replied.

Professors and students alike stared at him. "I'm sorry, there is no Lullia Moons who attends Hogwarts," explained Professor McGonagall.

Henry sought out my face amongst the crowd. I tried to hide under the table to no avail.

"Over there," he said. "The tall brunette with the redhead twins."

I sighed and stayed under the table in the hope that the teachers would not see me.

"Please stand up, Miss Robin," demanded Dumbledore. My hand came out from under the table, waved, and I made my dramatic disappearance. Thank Merlin for apparition. At least they didn't see my face… Yet.

I wasn't cruel. If I were cruel, he would have kissed the female staff on the cheek and the male staff on the hand. He was a muggleborn, anyways. I debated whether or not I had been too lenient. Just because he was a muggleborn did not mean he deserved such mercy, did it?

I apparated into the dormitory, just in time as the mob of Gryffindors came in. No firsties, luckily, but I could not be seen. I hung off the bedpost, awaiting company. Nobody came - only then did I realize it. I was the only Gryffindor girl to return for seventh year. Well, well, well. Less people to wake up whilst sneaking out of the dorm. More overnight pranks.

I smirked. My first order of business would be sneaking into Charlie Weasley's dormitory. Where he probably kept the piece of parchment with all of the passwords for the rooms in the castle. Watch out Hogwarts - AshLey Robin is on the case.

The suitcase, actually. I unpacked my things, and may have painted the walls black. And the spell may have been permanent…

I sighed. Just the way I liked it. Welcome home, I told myself.

**A/N : She has a sadistic, wicked grin. And an even more evile smirk. That puts even the Malfoys to shame. That is just how amazing it is.**


	2. The Password Obtaining

**Author's Note : I got onto my FF account today, and had to post immediately. Second day. What shall happen? Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing and following. Oh dear god, I forgot there was no apparating inside Hogwarts! House elves can apparate, why can't she? So, just forget that rule...**

**Disclaimer : I'm not the magical author who owns Harry Potter. That would be the one and only J.K. Rowling. I do not own Fred or George Weasley, Albus Dumbledore, Charlie Weasley or any of the characters mentioned in this besides Henry Aarons, Lullia Moons, AshLey Robin and a few others.**

The Second Day!

I groaned as I fell on the ground. How had I fallen off my bed so quickly? I then realized I had fallen asleep hanging off the bedpost. Again. Whatever. It was 2AM. Not a sound could be heard...

I cast the Muffliato charm onto myself and threw on an Invisibility Cloak (A/N : It's AU), then snuck out of my dorm, to the room up the other staircase, marked 'Seventh Years'. Silently entering, I grabbed the confidential information off of the nightstand. Piece of cake. I returned to the common room, and headed up the stairs, back to my dorm.

I then remembered Rule 28, no student should know any passwords except for the password to their own common room. I had the passwords to all of the teachers' offices, all of the common rooms, and several other different rooms in the castle. Well, I guess that was...

A second rule broken at the second hour of the day. That was so accidental.

Not.

The same day, I had to work on training the next pranksters of Hogwarts. The Marauders would have begun this tradition, I believe, however, they failed to find a suitable prankster. However, I had begun the tradition, after finding two first years when I was in my sixth year, they are the excellent students Fred and George Weasley. Twins are some of the best pranksters - though Metamorphagi, triplets, and quadruplets can be better.

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" asked Fred and George simultaneously, bowing. This was the usual.

"The password obtaining is an optimal skill for the prankster. In other words, you have to either sneak into the Head Boy or Head Girl's dorm and steal the passwords, or become one yourself. Now… Read this sheet," I explained.

"You got the passwords?" asked Fred.

"But how?" asked George.

"Charlie," they chimed.

"Correct. At the end of this year, I will bequeath to you all of my tools. One of them shall be an ultimate asset to stealth," I said. "Anyways, today you shall be taught the Muffliato charm, if I am correct."

"Correct," chimed Fred and George. They can be sickening like that.

"Anyways, let us visit the kitchens for some food," I led them to the kitchens, tickled the pear, and let them get breakfast for us - I was unwelcome.

We ate in an empty classroom, simultaneously practicing the Muffliato charm. The two were quick learners.

As to the rest of the day, I had terribly boring N.E.W.T. level classes, and I do believe I will get T's after all of this. I talked back to at least four professors, refused to answer when my name was called on rollcall, yet produced amazing results. It surprised me when I got so many O's on my O.W.L.'s, yet I do do well in class.

After class, it was dinner with the twins, practicing the Muffliato charm, planning out evil plots, and designing new prankstering devices. We came up with this magnificent invention called a Passing Pillow, designed off the Muggle 'Whoopie Cushion'. It's charmed to be invisible until it's been deflated, written on it is, 'You have been pranked, courtesy of Lullia Moons, Gred, and Forge.' The names had become our code names after I accidently called George, Forge while I had this Muggle disease called strep throat. They swapped the first letters of their names sometimes, while it was still fairly obvious, Lullia Moons was better known amongst the first years than AshLey Robin, anyways.

Charlie came up to me while I was sitting dangerously close to the fire. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office tomorrow, before breakfast."

I smiled, and nodded. I then dismissed the Head Boy and shared a worried moment with the twins.

Whatever Dumbledore wanted, I'd have to go see. I planned to pay him a visit just after midnight. For that was the best way.

**A/N : What does Dumbledore want? Thanks to my reviewer/follower, Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki. I look forward to seeing you guys' reviews! That little text box isn't down below for nothing!**


	3. Puking Potion

**Author's Note : You still with me? Here is the third chapter.**

**Disclaimer : You know the drill. I don't own Harry Potter, Bloomsbury, Scholastic and/or Warner Bros. I'm not J.K. Rowling, all credit goes to her for the lovely characters she invented. The plot of this fic, and AshLey, are mine.**

The Third Day!

Gasp. I had stayed up all night. I never do that! However… It was 11:59 PM. I marched out of the common room to Dumbledore's office.

"Chocolate Frog?" I asked the gargoyle. As if in answer, they leapt apart, revealing the stairs. I walked up, to see Dumbledore asleep, his head against the desk. I poked him, and he gasped, looking up.

"What… Miss Robin, whatever are you doing here?" he asked.

"You wished to see me," I replied.

"In the morning," he said.

"It's the morning," I argued.

"Whatever. Miss Robin, are you aware that it is strictly against Hogwarts rules to tell first years about how they are to be sorted?" he asked.

"It is?" I asked, playing dumb.

"In fact, detention is only the least minor of punishments. More severe punishments include letters to parents, and expulsion," continued Dumbledore.

"I don't have parents…" I muttered.

"I should expel you, but you are a seventh year and I can't expel you… Stay out of trouble this year, mark my words," warned Dumbledore. I nodded, and left.

He clearly hadn't found out.

I came upon Fred and George back in the common room. I sat dangerously close to the fire and turned around to face them.

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" they chimed, bowing.

"Today, you shall learn a most valuable lesson… That you must never forget!" I declared.

"Whatever be that, Master AshLey?" asked Fred.

"Distraction. In this case, from punishment," I explained. "When was the last time I got detention?"

"Never in our years here," answered George.

"This is because I am so skilled in this… Anyways, for example, say Professor Sprout is about to give you detention. You could say : Professor Sprout, for Potions class I need to study aconite. Could you fill me in on some facts?" I explained. "Distractions are a most important tool."

The twins nodded.

"Off with you, get some sleep. We'll continue later," I ordered. The two obediently bowed and rushed off to their dormitory. I turned around and stared at the fire. I usually did this. I was sleep deprived, but I knew a spell that would convince my body that I had slept, the only proof of sleep being the memory.

At 6AM, the twins came down and dragged me down to the Great Hall for breakfast. I performed the small charm and they sat down in their usual spots, pulling me down with them.

"You shouldn't deprive yourself of sleep like that," scolded Fred.

"It's terrible for the brain and the immune system," continued George.

"Whatever," I sighed. They could be so annoying sometimes…

"Did you hear the news?" asked Fred, after I had make a dent in about half my meal.

"I hear everything," I said, rolling my eyes. "What's this news? You're on the Quidditch team?"

"We're the beaters!" they exclaimed.

"Good for you, it's about time we had some decent beaters who'll not be afraid to beat the hell out of Slytherin!" I exclaimed.

"Together we're gonna kick some ass, and it's gonna be totally awesome!" they sang.

"You watched it?!" I cried, my fork stopping halfway to my mouth.

"First of all, eat those eggs," ordered Fred. I did.

"Second of all, Dad finally hooked up a computer, so yes we did," said George. I smiled.

"Interesting," I said. "Anyways, about today's lesson. Sometimes the professor will be too confused to care. For example, I woke up Professor Dumbledore just after midnight. He was tired as well as confused, so he simply said he couldn't expel me. I avoided detention."

"So you are saying that we are supposed to wake up professors at 12:01 AM?" asked Fred.

"We don't have your irregular sleep pattern syndrome, you know," said George.

"I'm just saying, do it when they're distracted, if they request you in their office after class, come sometime when you know they will be busy. After class, unless they say straight after class, can really mean anytime," I explained. My apprentices nodded.

"So what rule are we to break today?" asked Fred, quietly.

"Watch this," I replied, pulling a potion out of my robe.

"What's that?" asked George.

"Puking Potion," I replied. "It'll make 'em puke…"

I slipped it into half of the food, and put the bottle back in my robe. "14, no messing or contaminating the food."

**A/N : Thanks for reading. Thanks again to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing, and to malcolm. to following.**


	4. Alright, Who Wrote This?

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing, your feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer : Do I own HP? Let's see... Does J.K. Rowling post FanFiction? No. I'm not her, HP is hers. I don't have any affiliation with WB, Scholastic or Bloomsbury.**

The Fourth Day!

Class, is usually boring. Even more boring than lectures from Snape. Today, I decided to do something. Everyday I do, actually… I threw on my Invisiblity Cloak and strolled into Potions class. Professor Snape was taking rollcall, standing in front of the chalkboard. I cast the Muffliato charm, grabbed a piece of chalk out of my pocket, and started drawing on the board. I watched my fellow seventh years try and fail to hold back their sniggers. Snape finally turned around.

"Alright, who wrote this?" he asked. Nobody answered. "Once I find out who did this, they will have detention for the rest of their lives!"

By this time, I had snuck back to my seat and removed the Invisiblity Cloak. I raised my hand. "Professor Snape, you can't give us detention that long. Once we've graduated, we can't have detention."

"Miss Robin, did you write this?" he asked.

"I do know who wrote it, and it was most definitely not me. I did write an extra curricular essay on aconite, though," I replied. handing the sheet to him. He sighed, and went back to rollcall. I smiled. Another distraction…

Rule 35, nobody is to write on the chalkboards except the professors.

After class, I quickly ran out, hoping to avoid a lecture. I managed to. So I went down to lunch, where Fred and George were waiting for me. I hadn't seen them all day…

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" they chorused, bowing.

"Today shall be a lesson of distraction, in this case, by distracting with or from pranks. Has there ever been a professor you despise?" I asked.

"Snape," they chimed.

"Say you wish to pull a prank on him. For an example, write on his chalkboard," I explained. "You'd probably want a distraction, so he wouldn't see it. But since there are two of you, that shouldn't be a problem."

"But isn't writing on chalkboards against the rules?" asked Fred. I couldn't stop the guilty look.

"You wrote on his chalkboard, didn't you?" asked George.

I solemnly nodded. "Anyways, Fred could go on and spill a cauldron 'by accident' (I did air quotes to prove my point). While Snape was busy dealing with this, George could sneak over to the chalkboard and write, just for an example, Snape is a reincarnation of Squidward."

"Who is Squidward?" asked Fred.

"A squid from a Muggle cartoon… He has a long nose, doesn't tolerate nonsense, and is very arrogant, thinking he's the best person ever," I explained.

"Snape _is_ a reincarnation of Squidward!" exclaimed George.

**A/N : Hope you enjoyed! Please review, I'd like to know that I'm writing this for more than two people... Feedback is always much appreciated, flame me and I'll just flame you right back.**


	5. Heck, That's Two Rules Broken!

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki and CrazyFangirl for reviewing! So here's the next chapter, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer : Same old, same old. I don't own Harry Potter, I didn't get a phone call between yesterday and today from J.K. Rowling giving all rights of Harry Potter to me… Just a minute, let me pick up the phone. Nope, Harry Potter isn't mine.**

The Fifth Day!

Being cornered with no wand is always bad. Unless you know wandless magic. Which I do.

"Accio wand," I muttered. The flexible stick of willow flew into my hand.

"How'd you do that?" asked Fred.

"Yea, that's no fair!" exclaimed George.

"It's unfair to try and corner me so that I'll agree to help sneak you out to Hogsmeade!" I cried.

"So, will you?" asked Fred, as if nothing had happened. George slapped him upside the head and whispered something furiously into his ear. I had to thank him later for that…

"Of course I will! Heck, that's two rules broken. Rule 1 and 10!" I exclaimed. They stared at me, obviously confused. "Rule 1 : It is not permitted for students to exit Hogwarts grounds during the school year, excluding for Hogsmeade excursions. Rule 10 : Only third years and above with permission from a parent/guardian are allowed to leave Hogwarts grounds for Hogsmeade excursions."

They nodded. I smiled. They were such good kids…

"So… Come with me, I'll show you something," I said. I led them to one of the many exits. "Anyways, this exit will lead you to Hogsmeade. Once you get there, try not to be seen. Go as quickly as you can to the abandoned building."

"Thanks, AshLey!" exclaimed George, giving me a small hug.

I patted him on the head. "You were always my favorite…"

Fred pouted. "No fair! I'm the better looking one!"

"Never judge a book based on it's cover," I replied, shooing them through the tunnel. I left to go through the appropriate exit.

As soon as I got to Hogsmeade, I went into the abandoned building. I caught Fred and George looking at the many things I had stashed in there.

"AshLey, where did these things come from?" asked Fred.

"Where do you think they came from?" I countered. He frowned.

"How long have you been stashing these things in here?" asked George.

"Since first year," I replied, picking up a firework. "I need some help developing some of these things…"

"We'll help!" exclaimed Fred and George.

"Sure thing… Okay then, do you enjoy working with explosives?" I asked.

**A/N : R&R!**


	6. Is There a Fire?

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing! Let's just watch the hilariousness (is that a word?) unfold now…**

**Disclaimer : If I owned Harry Potter, that'd be totally awesome. Don't take no sorcery for anyone to see how I don't own HP. All rights go to J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing some of her characters and her location - Hogwarts.**

The Sixth Day!

I walked out of the dormitory, down to the common room. I had all of Charlie Weasley's robes with me. Making sure nobody was around, I threw them into the fire. Rule 3, students are not to wear or mess with the clothing of other students. That was easy. 7 rules down, 293 to go.

Minutes later, the twins came down in their pajamas. Clearly to find out why their dormitory was scented like smoke.

George coughed. "Is there a fire?"

"Nope," I called back.

The twins finally found me in the smoke. "Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today," the twins chimed, bowing.

"Dunno. Anyways, the smoke, you may find, has a slight smell of clothing," I told them.

"Were your robes on fire?" asked George. "You shouldn't sit that close to the fire, y'know."

"Someone else's robes were on fire, but not mine," I replied.

"Whose clothes did you burn, and why?" asked Fred.

"Charlie's clothes. It's against Hogwarts rules to mess with or wear the clothes of other students. Though you are wearing each others' pajamas…" I elaborated. They looked at each other.

"What are we learning today?" asked George.

"It's Saturday," I replied. They looked confused for a moment. They then started whispering furiously to one another.

"That means it's our choice, right?" asked Fred.

"Of course," I droned.

"Then… Could we learn about the school, and all those hiding places? Yesterday we learned about the exits, today could we find out shortcuts and the like?" asked George.

"Absolutely," I replied. "We'll start immediately. Just let me write a note here…"

I wrote, The smell of smoke is Charlie's robes. I left the sticky note by the fireplace, and gladly skipped out of the common room.

"So… Let's just explore the first floor today. We'll do the rest of the floors day-by-day," I said, and they followed me down.

"Here's the dungeons, the Slytherin common room, Snape's office and Snape's classroom are all down here. As well as some empty classrooms. The Hufflepuff Common Room is behind that suit of armor, you just have to move it to get in," I labeled.

"Wow, that's easy to get into!" exclaimed Fred.

"They are the house of loyalty," pointed out George.

"Fred, use your head. It's actually not only there for the sole purpose of straining your neck," I sighed, shaking my own head.

**A/N : Review please!**


	7. Yes it Goes On and On My Friends

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric Uzumaki for reviewing! It's the seventh day!**

**Disclaimer : Look up Harry Potter, or check out the nearest book. What's the author's name? JK Rowling? That's not me!**

The Seventh Day!

Rule 62 states that students are not to bring Muggle electronics into the school. I pulled my Toshiba laptop out of my backpack and played one of my favorite songs.

"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends…" I sang. Fred and George stared at me.

"What are you singing?" asked Fred.

"Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because," I continued.

"AshLey, are you insane?" asked George.

I didn't stop singing. For it doesn't have an end.

"Shut up, AshLey!" exclaimed Percy as he ran down the stairs.

"Yes it goes on and on my friends…" I sang.

"Can you get her to shut up?" Percy asked the twins.

"She's been doing this for four hours, do you think we would have shut her up if we could?" asked Fred. Percy groaned.

Charlie came down a few minutes later. "Whose laptop is that?"

"We don't actually know, but judging from the fact that the song that's playing is the same one that AshLey is singing, I'd estimate it's hers," replied George.

"AshLey, you do know that it's against the rules to bring Muggle electronics into the school, right?" asked Chalie.

"And they'll continue singing it forever just because…" I sang.

Charlie slapped me upside the head. "Were you the one that took my passwords?"

"The song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends…" I continued singing.

"She was, wasn't she?" he asked the twins. They shrugged.

"Muffliato!" said George, pointing his wand at me. With a flick of my hand, my voice flooded back into the room.

"She knows wandless magics?!" exclaimed Charlie. The twins nodded. "She should have been put in Slytherin house…"

"Why? She's not evil!" exclaimed Fred.

"So she would bug those idiots and not us," replied Charlie.

"Some people started singing it not knowing what it was," I sang.

All day, I was singing the never-ending song. This was particularly easy, as there were no classes and my homework had been previously completed.

"Shut the hell up, AshLey!" exclaimed Alicia Spinnet.

"Yes it goes on and on my friends…" I continued singing, maintaining a straight face.

**A/N : Sorry, it's short! Review, please!**


	8. Pigfarts, a Story

**Author's Note : Guess what?! AshLey's returning for another chapter! And may even be coming in for an interview!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. If I did, I'd be writing novels, not FanFiction.**

The Eighth Day!

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" asked the twins.

Since the ten-hour version of the song ended, I wasn't singing any more. "The exact art of sparkles."

"Yay! Sparkles!" exclaimed Fred.

"Indeed… So, take our favorite professor, Mr. Severus Snape. What color sparkles would look good on his robes?" I asked.

"Pink? Purple?" asked George.

"And this is why I took you two kids under my wing. You have much to learn… Red and gold sparkles!" I exclaimed. Fred and George nodded in realisation.

"You have the most amazing amazing ideas, AshLey," complimented Fred.

"Suck-up, you know George is my favorite," I mock-scolded. Fred fake pouted.

"No fair!" he protested.

"If it's a matter of fairness, I _could_ always just throw you out into the wild to fend for yourself," I chuckled.

"What rule to break today?" asked George.

"I've only broken 8 so far… Today, there are no classes. So, I'll just take a friendly little trip to the library, take a book entitled 'Hogwarts, a History' and may or may not rewrite the title as 'Pigfarts, a Story'," I replied, smiling evilly.

"Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!" exclaimed Fred. We all laughed.

So that very same day, I took a lime green marker called a 'Sharpie' out of my pocket and successfully managed to rewrite the title of 'Hogwarts, a History' as 'Pigfarts, a Story'. I took the book to Madam Pince. She glared at me over the rim of her glasses.

"Miss Robin, weren't you banned from the library?" she asked.

"I just wanted to say that _someone_ vandalised this copy of 'Hogwarts, a History'," I replied, placing the book on her desk.

"MISS ROBIN!" she screamed as I disapparated.

Rule 34 states that students and teachers are not allowed to vandalise school property… Rule 34 has been broken on numerous occasions.

**A/N : Hope you enjoyed! Reviews please!**

**AshLey : Hey!**

**Me : What?**

**AshLey : Aren't you going to interview me?**

**Me : Oh yea… So how many rules have you broken?**

**AshLey : I plan to break all 300, I've broken eight.**

**Me : That's pathetic, girl!**

**AshLey : So are you!**

**Me : Do you enjoy duct tape?**

**AshLey : Duct tape. What the hell can't it do?**

**Me : Red Vines… I need a Red Vine right now. (grabs licorice out of desk)**

**AshLey : Hey, could I have one?**

**Me : Oh, sure.**

**AshLey : Thanks.**

**SEE MORE OF THIS INTERVIEW AT THE END OF NEXT CHAPTER! AND LET'S PAY ASHLEY FOR VISITING ME, IN THE FORM OF REVIEWS!**


	9. Jinx the Brooms

**Author's Note : Heya guys! Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric Uzumaki for reviewing!**

**AshLey : Thanks for paying me!**

**Me : That's not a very nice way to say thanks for a review, you know…**

**AshLey : Too bad, I've got your Red Vines!**

**Me : Hey give those back!**

**AshLey : Read and review, I'll be back at the end of this chapter! (apparates away)**

**Me : You heard her, read and review! So I can have my Red Vines back!**

The Ninth Day!

My head whipped around to where the twins were racing down the stairs. I smirked as George fell.

"Ow…" he muttered. Fred and George came over to me.

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" they asked, bowing.

"Glad you asked. Today… You shall be learning… Bribery!" I replied.

"Would I be able to bribe you into giving me a Red Vine?" asked Fred hopefully.

"You don't need to bribe me, you get one free, you are my favorite!" I replied, handing him a Red Vine and ruffling his hair.

George pouted. "I thought I was your favorite!"

"Forget you, kid. Bribery is a way of persuasion. My apprentices, what exactly is persuasion?" I asked.

Fred raised his hand. I pointed at him. "Persuasion is a way of convincing people to do something or not to do something."

"And _that_ is why you're my favorite. Correct. Anyway, bribery is a way of persuasion, with promising the person something. For example, hey Fred, I'll give you a package of Red Vines if you manage to convince the Gryffindor Quidditch team to sing the 'Let the Games Begin' song from AVPS, having the guys sing 'Somebody's gonna lose' and the girls sing 'We're gonna kick your ass', at today's Quidditch match" I persuaded.

"I shall try my best, Master AshLey (A/N : it just occured to me it should probably be Mistress AshLey)," he replied, bowing.

"See George, _this_ is why he's my favorite!" I pointed out. "That's what bribery is, convincing someone to do something with the promise of a reward."

"No fair… Could I bribe you into making me your favorite?" asked George.

"One of the rules of bribery is NOT to say the word 'bribe'," I warned. "You have to say something like what I said before, 'I'll give you if' or 'if you do this I'll give you'. That way, it's still bribery, but it makes it better if they don't realize they are being bribed.

That day, when I went down to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the match, I was glad to see that Fred had actually convinced the others to sing. I clapped and sang along… Fred was getting a package of Red Vines.

With the distraction of the song, I managed to jinx the brooms of the Slythteam. Rule 43, students are not to jinx the brooms, Quaffles, Bludgers or Snitch during a Quidditch match or practice. Well… It was about time that Gryffindor won, for once!

**A/N : Review please!**

**AshLey : I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!**

**Me : Where are my Red Vines?**

**AshLey : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…**

**Me : You didn't give them to George, did you?!**

**AshLey : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Review guys! (disapparates)**

**Me : Now I have to go buy more Red Vines. Damnit. But you heard her! Review peepz!**


	10. I'm Not Going to Class Today

**Author's Note : Thanks to mooncutie11 and Fluffy9988 for following, and to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing!**

**AshLey : Hey, watcha doin'?**

**Me : Do you have 3 Galleons to console the loss of my Red Vines?**

**AshLey : Uh. Read this chapter, I'll be back! (disapparates).**

**Me : Damnit. I hate when she does that. Whatever, read and review! (disapparates after AshLey).**

The Tenth Day!

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" chorused the twins, bowing.

"Sit down, my apprentices," I ordered. They obeyed. "Today is a lesson… In passing schoolwork!"

The twins groaned. "But that's boooooooooooooooooooooooooooring!"

"Well, how else do you _think_ I passed my N.E.W.T's…" I muttered. "Anyways, to be specific, today is a lesson on cheating schoolwork!"

The groans quickly turned to cheers.

"So _that's_ how you passed your N.E.W.T's," muttered Fred.

"Are you questioning my ability to perform well on tests without cheating, Fred?" I asked. "See, this is why George is my favorite."

"But I was your favorite!" pouted Fred.

"Anyways, there are several anti-cheating methods put in place. I shall teach you how to breach each and every one of them… We'll start with the quills," I explained.

2 hours later, I was positive they had mastered each and every way to cheat on a test. By then it was class time.

"Come on, AshLey, we _have_ to get to class!" exclaimed George as he and his twin attempted to get me up from my regular seat - dangerously close to the fire.

"Keep this up and you'll set me on fire," I replied. "I'm not going to class today."

"Why not?" asked Fred.

"Because of Rule 5," I replied. The twins nodded and darted off to their class.

Rule 5 - Students must attend class, unless given permission from a professor or in the hospital wing with severe injuries.

**A/N : Reviews please!  
AshLey : I have your Red Vine consolation money, now can you please take me out of this Jelly-Legs Jinx?**

**Me : (takes money). Unjellify!**

**AshLey : Who would've guessed the countercurse was just 'Unjellify'? Review peepz! (disapparates).**


	11. The Forbidden Forest is Forbidden

**Author's Note : Heya! Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing! Here's the eleventh day!**

**Disclaimer :**

**AshLey : Nope, she doesn't own it!**

**Me : That's my line!**

**AshLey : So read and review!**

**Me : Also my line!**

**AshLey : Also my line!**

**Me : Whatever, just read and review.**

**AshLey : Whatever, just read and review. (disapparates).**

The Eleventh Day!

Lessons with both the twins and the professors were finished, homework was modified from the answer key, and all were asleep. For it was 10:00 PM.

I went outside of the common room and out of the castle. I went into the Forbidden Forest, to visit my friends, the centaurs.

"Miss Robin, what brings you here to visit our humble home, the Forbidden Forest?" asked Firenze.

"I be here on a visit to observe the creatures in your home," I replied. Firenze nodded, so I went around and took pictures of the spiders, centaurs and other thing-a-ma-bobs in the forest. I even got a snap of a unicorn. I was perfectly aware that what I was doing was against Rule 55, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden to students.

"Thank you, sir Firenze," I thanked, bowing. He bowed back, and I left the Forbidden Forest.

Eventually I got back to the castle, but before I went to my seat by the fire, I realized that I hadn't performed any overnight pranks. I went into the twins' dormitory, the second year boys.

I took out a frog from deep in my pocket. I held it in front of my face, frowning. It didn't look very alive… Whatever, then. I took out a rat from another pocket. This animal was also dead. I sighed, I'd have to probably feed them next time… I placed the frog on top of Fred, and the rat on top of George.

I'd have to wait for the satisfaction of hearing them scream, but I had placed a returning charm on the rat and frog so they'd return to me with a flick of the wrist. I settled down by the fire, waiting for the amazing glee of seeing my prank worked.

**A/N : (crickets chirp) (screams in the background)**

**AshLey (faintly) : Dear dead god, stop it!**

**Me (faintly) : Never give me fake gold instead of real Galleons!**

**AshLey (faintly) : I ****_said _****I was ****_sorry_****!**

**Me (faintly) : But you didn't mean it!**

**AshLey (faintly) : You know it's the author's note, right? Hey guys, review please!**

**Me (faintly) : Leave a review people!**


	12. You Giant, Evil Gnome!

**Author's Note : Guess what?**

**AshLey : We all know…**

**Me : Or do we? (takes out bag of Red Vines)**

**AshLey : Hey… Are those my Red Vines?**

**Me : For once it's vice versa! Read and review guys! (disapparates).**

**Disclaimer :**

**AshLey : Seeing as she's not here, I'm probably supposed to tell you all, she doesn't own HP.**

The Twelfth Day!

I heard screams coming from a dormitory upstairs. I strained my ears. Sure enough, it was the twins. I put out both of my hands, catching a dead frog in one and a dead rat in another.

They stumbled down the stairs, one even fell. I couldn't tell which, they were running too fast. They both tried to look casual as they saw me, two dead animals in my grasp.

"Master AshLey, whatever shall you teach us today?" they chimed, bowing as I put the animals back into my pockets.

"Today, you shall be learning… The ultimate art… Of deciphering sounds," I replied. "I heard you two screaming, what happened?"

"Someone placed animals in our faces while we were asleep," replied Fred.

"Dead or alive?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Probably alive, because they got away before we could catch them," replied George. "I had a rat on my face, and what was it that you had, Fred?"

"A frog," replied Fred.

"Well, this prankster clearly like you better, Fred. A rat is more of a sign of hatred than a frog, at least in my personal experiences," I explained. "Anyways, ear training will most likely help you, but right now it's time for breakfast. We'll learn some more at lunch, and after class."

"Aw…" complained the twins, but obliged to my authority.

I had some urge to break Rule 243 today, for some odd reason. I quickly consulted my copy of the Hogwarts rules at breakfast. Clear as day, was written 'Students are not to tease or make fun of the professors.'

So that was an urge to make fun of professors. My first class of the day was Charms. Flitwick was in for a treat.

"AshLey Robin?" he called.

"I'm here, Professor Pipsqueak," I replied.

Later in class…

"May I see how you are doing?" asked Flitwick.

"You're just trying to take advantage of me, aren't you? You giant, evil gnome, you've been attempting to eat everyone ALL. YEAR. Don't you dare deny it!" I accused.

Oh yes, first class sure was fun. I was incredibly excited for next class - Potions.

**A/N : Just decided to end it there, let you all just imagine what she did to him. I will tell you that she called him Snivellus and a reincarnation of Squidward.**

**AshLey : I'll tell you what I called him! Let's see… I called him a-**

**Me : (muffles AshLey) The list is too long! Review please!**


	13. Hey Robin, Want to Fly With Me?

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki and guest reviewer 'sorry' for reviewing! As to the latter's review : I'm sorry, I really can't make them any longer, I've been fairly busy. Thanks for reading & reviewing, though!**

**AshLey : Why am I still here?**  
**Me : Let's see… Is it because you're handcuffed to that wall?**

**AshLey : Why am I handcuffed here, again?**

**Me : So you don't go away!**

**AshLey : (disapparates).**

**Me : Well, I'm surely an idiot.**

**Disclaimer : HP is J.K. Rowling's, all rights go to her. I claim my character, AshLey, and the plot. As well as the Hogwarts rules (except for a few J.K. made up).**

The Thirteenth Day!

Today, I remembered something that Dumbledore had said at the opening feast. I looked up the rule in my rulebook. Rule 13, what a coincidence. "Students are not to fight in the corridors between classes." Well, that was basic!

So it was after Potions class, the third class of the day.

"Hey Robin, want to fly with me?" asked some kid in Ravenclaw. I frowned at the flirt.

"Levicorpus!" I cursed, and he was dangled on a rope. Upside down. "I most absolutely do not want to… Fly with you. In fact, I'd love for you to fly ALONE."

I skipped off to Herbology. Well that was some easy rulebreaking.

After class, I located the twins.

"Hello, Master AshLey," greeted Fred.

"Did you see the amazing display in the corridor? Some Ravenclaw was hung by a rope!" exclaimed George.

"Oh yes, that. I was one of the first to see it, actually," I replied.

"Wait, you did that?!" cried Fred.

"I have to admire your handiwork there, excellent use of spell!" exclaimed George.

"Why thank you, George. Excellent way to win my favor," I replied. "I assume you want to know how it happened."

"Yes!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Well, this Ravenclaw, decided to flirt. He said quote Hey Robin, want to fly with me? unquote. So I cast the Levicorpus spell-" I explained.

"What's that do?" asked Fred.

"It dangled him by a rope," I replied. "And said quote I most absolutely do not want to… Fly with you. In fact, I'd love for you to fly ALONE. unquote."

"Great job!" exclaimed George.

"Anyways, I know I said I was going to teach you guys some jinxes, hexes and curses, so we can start off with the Levicorpus curse, since you're obviously so eager to learn it," I told them.

**A/N : Heya people, review please! I'm sorry AshLey isn't here…**

**AshLey : Review peepz!**

**Me : When did you get here?**

**AshLey : At the part about the amazing display in the corridor…**

**Me : Did you just come here to see how I managed to write your display?**

**AshLey : And to tell everyone I thank them for their reviews! (disapparates).**

**Me : Okay, review people!**


	14. A Piece of Metal Into the Fire

**Author's Note : Thanks to guest reviewer Emma for reviewing, and to Khayos for following!**

**AshLey : Thanks to countless others for reading!**

**Me : You do realize 'countless' is less than 150, right?**

**AshLey : Whatever. Review!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own HP, all rights go to J.K. Rowling. I claim my OC, AshLey-**

**AshLey : Wait. I'm yours?**

**Me : And the plot.**

**AshLey : Wait, this was my devious plot!**

The Fourteenth Day!

"Can you even believe two weeks have passed?" I asked nobody in particular. I didn't exactly have anyone to talk to, so I was just asking random people random questions. "I wish I had someone better to annoy than Charlie Weasley, he's such a buzzkill… To the Slytherin dungeons!"

I marched straight down to the portrait of Salazar Slytherin.

"Mudblood, what do you want?" he hissed.

"Well now, two things. A) I'm not a Mudblood, so stop calling me one. B) Parselmouth," I explained. He groaned and let me in.

"Such a shame to let in a Gryffindor…" he was muttering to himself as I rolled behind the sofa, James Bond style. Not letting anybody see me, I observed the Slytherins.

"Did you see that Ravenclaw kid?" asked one.

"Which, the one that was hanging from the ceiling? That was hilarious, I wonder who did it?" asked another, laughing.

I saw they were eating chocolate jellybeans. Enter bag of dirt flavoured jellybeans. I replaced the dish of chocolate jellybeans with a dish of dirt jellybeans, taking the former and dumping them into my bag and placing them into one of my robe pockets. I then took out a jar of sprinkles that were especially reserved for Slytherins. I grabbed two handfuls, dumped them onto the two Slytherins' heads and threw a fork into the fire.

"I did it, in case you're wondering," I called, bowing as I disapparated. I wish I could've stayed to see their faces.

Later that same day, I heard about an explosion in the Slytherin common room. Apparently someone had dropped a piece of metal into the fire.

Rule 73 - students are not to purposefully throw/place anything in the fire. I do believe I should not have thrown a fork into that fire… Naw, I should have. Apparently they all had to stay in their dormitories for hours while the professors took out the fire and cleared the debris. Apparently, it took a while, even though they were using magic.

I cackled in glee, the silver and green twats got something that, at least most of them, deserved.

**A/N : Review please!**

**AshLey : Red vines!**

**Me : Well, that was incredibly random.**

**AshLey : Stick with pineapples! (disapparates).**

**Me : Whatever. Again, review please guys!**


	15. I'd Just Like to Inform You That

**Author's Note : Chapter 15 is here! And thanks to guest reviewer Emma (again!) and jcpinyerd for reviewing!**

**AshLey : Or is it?**

**Disclaimer :**

**AshLey : She owns HP!**

**Me : Indeed, I got the rights late last night!**

**AshLey : So you can expect her to become rich and stop posting FanFiction!**

**Me : I don't own HP, if it wasn't evident from our sarcastic exchange.**

**AshLey : Yep, all rights go to JKR!**

The Fifteenth Day!

"So, you're just going to go and say it right to his face?" asked Fred.

"Well, what else do you propose I do? Write 'I'm a ****ing *******' on his forehead?!" I cried. He silenced.

"That wouldn't be such a bad idea…" muttered George.

"Adios, amigos!" I said, waving at them as I went up to where Charlie Weasley was studying.

"What do you want, Robin?" he groaned.

"I'd like to inform you that you're a piece of Muggle ****ing troll ****," I insulted.

"What?! Did you just swear at me?!" cried Charlie.

"No, just called you a piece of Muggle ****ing troll ****!" I exclaimed.

"You do realize that Rule 9 states that students are not to cuss, either in Muggle or wizard swears, right?! You just used both Muggle and wizard swears!" exclaimed Charlie.

"Well duh, that's why I said it, you broomhead!" I exclaimed, disapparating.

**A/N : Sorry this is so short, but I don't have much else to insert… The swear is from a video entitled 'Potter Puppet Pals : Wizard Swears'! It's hilarious, I recommend watching it.**

**AshLey : A Very Potter Trilogy is also hilarious.**

**Me : Yep, there's a lot of that humor in this. Check out Potter Puppet Pals and Team Starkids' videos. By the way, here's the uncensored cut :**

_ "So, you're just going to go and say it right to his face?" asked Fred._

_ "Well, what else do you propose I do? Write 'I'm a fucking bastard' on his forehead?!" I cried. He silenced._

_ "That wouldn't be such a bad idea…" muttered George._

_ "Adios, amigos!" I said, waving at them as I went up to where Charlie Weasley was studying._

_ "What do you want, Robin?" he groaned._

_ "I'd like to inform you that you're a piece of Muggle fucking troll shit," I insulted._

_ "What?! Did you just swear at me?!" cried Charlie._

_ "No, just called you a piece of Muggle fucking troll shit!" I exclaimed. _

_ "You do realize that Rule 9 states that students are not to cuss, either in Muggle or wizard swears, right?! You just used both Muggle and wizard swears!" exclaimed Charlie._

_ "Well duh, that's why I said it, you broomhead!" I exclaimed, disapparating._


	16. I'd Like to Make an Announcement

**Author's Note : Thanks to guest reviewer Emma again and jcpinyerd for reviewing!**

**AshLey : And to me!**

**Me : Why you?!**

**AshLey : Because I'm just that awesome!**

**Me : What the hell, you're about as awesome as a rubber band!**

**AshLey : How are they not awesome?!**

**Me : True. Read and review, people!**

**Disclaimer : You know, J.K.R died yesterday!**

**AshLey : She did, tragedy!**

**Me : So now, nobody owns HP!**

**AshLey : Well, supposedly she's got it copyrighted…**

**Me : So all rights go to dead J.K.R!**

**AshLey : Who didn't actually die!**

The Sixteenth Day!

I was looking through my copy of the rules, when I read one of the rules that I feared I might not be able to break, for breaking it would also be breaking the law.

"Rule 100 - No student is allowed to use any of the 3 Unforgivable curses," I read under my breath. I then had a brilliant idea…

So tallying up my choices for seventh years, I decided to choose the one I hated the most.

A Slytherin by the name of Trevor Fivell (OC).

I snuck into the Slytherin common room early that morning. Well, not exactly snuck in, more so told the painting the password and went in. I traveled quickly up the stairs, and into the seventh year boys' dormitory. I took Trevor's wand, and did something that was against Wizarding law…

I then snuck out, hoping to catch Professor Snape somewhere. I did.

"Imperio," I muttered, and he was under my control.

I placed Fivell's wand back where I had found it, now was time to have some fun with the Potions professor. Using a complicated charm of mine, I sent a clone down to the Great Hall, threw on the Invisibility Cloak, and went down to the Great Hall.

"I'd like to make an announcement," called out Professor Snape. All eyes went to him. "I have, at long last, come to my senses and made a realisation. This being that all houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin, are equal, and should be treated as such. For this reason, I give 100 points to the three houses I have misjudged, and take 100 misearned points from Slytherin."

Everybody cheered. I took off the Imperius curse and the Invisibility Cloak, put it in one of my moleskin pouches, and sat by the twins, getting rid of the clone. I smiled maniacally.

"AshLey, you wouldn't happen to know anything about Professor Snape's odd change in behaviour, would you?" asked Fred, a knowing glint in his eye.

"Nothing at all…" I lied.

**A/N : Review, people!**

**AshLey : And stick with pineapples!**

**Me : What's up with you and pineapples?!**

**AshLey : Everything!**

**Me : That's disturbing!**

**AshLey : So is your face!**

**Me : If I had a comeback for that… I'd use it!**

**AshLey : So, um, yea. Review, peoplez!**


	17. This is Called a Microwave

**Author's Note : Guess whaaaaaaaaaat?!**

**AshLey : I'm supposing you want me to guess?**

**Me : Well, of course not!**

**AshLey : (pouts). Why not?**

**Me : Because you know already!**

**AshLey : What do I know?**

**Me : Your extreme mental capabilities!**  
**AshLey : Why thank you…**

**Me (whispering) : That wasn't a compliment.**

**Disclaimer : You know the drill!**

**AshLey : I'm supposing you want me to tell them…**

**Me : Well of course not!**

**AshLey : Why not?**

**Me : I actually got a new drill from a firm called Grunnings.**

**AshLey : Good for you, spoiled brat! (disapparates).**

**Me : Anyways, dead JKR owns HP. All rights go to that body underground, that cursed body.**

The Seventeenth Day!

"For the umpteenth time, get some _sleep_!" exclaimed George.

"It's already 2AM, you think I'm going to bed _now_? Besides, other students are awake as well!" I tried to reason.

"But you didn't get _sleep_!" exclaimed Fred.

"Trying to get me to sleep is useless as getting You-Know-Who to stop killing people," I said. "He's not gone for good, you know."

"What do you mean?" asked George.

"Whatever, just my opinion… Hey, where are my funny twins?" I asked, changing the topic.

"HERE!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Good… So anyways, back to the actual lesson now… So this is called a microwave," I explained.

"What's it do?" asked Fred.

"Well, you put things in it, and it heats them. One of the marvelous Muggle inventions… You can't put metal in, but say you have a cold dish, and you're in a Muggle home so can't use your wand, you could find one of these magical contraptions. You put something in…" I explained, taking a tub of ice cream and putting it into the microwave. "And choose how long you wish to heat it for."

"Wait, why are you heating ice cream for 30 seconds?" asked George.

"And once it's done, it'll beep like this, so you press the button right here and take out whatever you were heating. Simple!" I exclaimed, balancing the hot ice cream on my lap.

"What are you going to do with that?" asked Fred.

"Well," I said, putting it into a shampoo bottle. "Know anybody who could use some better shampoo?"

"Not really…" they muttered in unison.

"Do you know anybody who uses this brand of shampoo?" I asked them.

"Charlie!" exclaimed George. "Oh no, you _wouldn't_!"

"Specially charmed to stay in the hair!" I exclaimed, sneaking off to the head boy's dormitory and replacing the shampoos.

Yep, Rule 42 - Students are not permitted to tamper with the personal hygiene products of other students or professors.

**A/N : And thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing on the last chapter. I'm just saying, if you 'love' AshLey, you should know what she does to those people.**

**AshLey (in the background) : Sectumsempra!**

**Me : Yep…**

**AshLey : Heya, what's going on over here?**

**Me : Just doing the author's note.**

**AshLey : (reads over shoulder) Wait, someone loves me?**

**Me : I'm sure they just meant they found your pranks hilarious.**

**AshLey : That had better be all they meant.**

**Me : Yep, review people!**

**AshLey : Otherwise I'll stop doing these pranks! Oh, and just for some clarification, some of you choose to refer to me as Ashley. My name is actually AshLey and is pronounced Ash-Lay, not Ash-Lee. But other than that, I love you guys' reviews!**


	18. What Is In My Hair!

**Author's Note : Thanks to Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki for reviewing and to EllaB4Midnite and Extop13 for favoriting and following - sorry I didn't mention you guys before!**

**AshLey : Here's the next chapter!**

**Me : Yep, chapter 18 already!**

**AshLey : Just a brief overview, there will be 294 chapters.**

**Me : All 300 rules broken is 294 days/chapters!**

**AshLey : After this, there could be a sort of sequel!**

**Me : Yep, she's going to try and get a Time Turner!**

**AshLey : So keep those reviews up, to keep up the chapters!**

**Disclaimer : All rights…**

**AshLey : Go to…**

**Me : Dead JKR.**

**AshLey : Yep, she owns me (horrified look) and the plot!**

**Me : The characters you recognize are probably JKR's!**

**AshLey : Trevor Fivell and Henry Aarons you probably don't recognize, they're hers as well!**

**Me : Yep!**

The Eighteenth Day!

"Today is a lesson in ice cream!" I told them excitedly.

"Okay, we know you like ice cream, but is an entire lesson devoted to the frozen treat _really_ necessary, AshLey?" asked Fred.

I held my hand to my heart, tears forming in my eyes. "Are you… Are you questioning… The… The awesomeness… Of ice cream?" I stuttered, feigning hurt.

"No, he's not, AshLey!" covered up George, with a sheepish smile.

"Good. You're my favorite, still, you know," I said. "Ice cream has several tens, if not hundreds, of uses!"

"Such as?" asked Fred.

"A source of deliciousness, a great stainer-" I was cut off.

"ROBIN!" came a cry from up the stairs. Charlie Weasley came stomping down the stairs, traces of brown ice cream dried in his hair.

"What. Is. In. My. Hair?!" he demanded.

"Such a waste of perfectly good ice cream," I replied, hiding a grin. The twins, however, still had to learn to control their emotions, and burst out in laughter.

"Ice cream?! You replaced my shampoo with ICE CREAM?!" cried Charlie Weasley.

"No," I lied. "I just noticed that you smelled lightly of chocolate and vanilla, put that together with the brown stuff in your hair… You're lucky they didn't get to your body wash, you know!" I exclaimed, disapparating.

But I soon apparated back, armed with a bucket of charmed, melted ice cream. I appeared behind him, dumped it on the Head Boy's head, and grabbed his badge before disapparating.

Rule 91 - Students are not to touch the badges of prefects, the Head Boy or the Head Girl. I charmed the badge to say something inappropriate that I had considered writing on his forehead, and placed the badge back where I had found it.

**A/N : What did you charm the badge with?**

**AshLey : I ****_do_**** wonder… Review, y'all!**

**Me : Yep! Review please, and you'll get the next chapter!**

**AshLey : It's really interesting! So, stick with pineapples! (disapparates).**

**Me : I swear she's dating a fruit…**

**AshLey : (apparates back with an apple in hand). Take this! (throws apple).**

**Me : (catches apple). Oh really?**

**AshLey : (disapparates and apparates back with a bucket of fruit). Want to challenge me?**

**Me (in a small voice) : No thank you. Review!**


	19. But Now That You Mention It

**Author's Note : Well, lovely guest reviewer, I stopped writing because I received ZERO REVIEWS. NOT because I'm a lazy quitter, or a bitch, or a cunty shit! But since I recently received news that at least SOMEONE was reading this fic, even if they are all that they call me, I decided to post another chapter. Anyways, hola, amigos!**

**AshLey : I'm your friend?**

**Me : Not you, the readers!**

**AshLey : Wait, it's the author's note already?!**

**Me : No, I'm just ranting to nobody.**

**AshLey : Do you need help?**

**Me : I've lost my mind, would you care to help me find it?**

**AshLey : I'll help you find it… Hey, maybe somewhere along the way, we'll also find your sanity!**

**Me : Yep, glad you're willing to return the favor!**

**Disclaimer :**

**AshLey : Not hers!**

**Me : Summed it up perfectly in two words! (fake tears fill eyes) I'm so proud, dear!**

**AshLey : (rolls eyes) Suck it up, Buttercup! Review everybody! (disapparates).**

The Nineteenth Day!

"Are you going to finish that Transfiguration homework?" asked Fred.

"Too busy…" I muttered.

"What are you doing that makes you too busy for homework?!" asked an astonished George.

"What I like to call the Detention Docket. I've scored 14 detentions already," I explained.

"What's a docket?" asked Fred.

"A docket," explained George, glaring down his brother. "A docket is a list of pending court cases. Good name, AshLey! Creative word and alliteration."

"Smartass," I muttered. "See Fred, this is why you're my favorite, you aren't a know-it-all like Herman."

"Hey!" exclaimed George.

"Shut your ungodly, lopsided mouth and quit interrupting. 20 more points," I scolded. "Now as long as you don't have any more comments, we can get to the actual lesson."

"Which is?" asked Fred eagerly.

"Masking your emotions," I replied. "Since neither of you managed to hold back your laughter yesterday."

"But he looked so hilarious!" exclaimed George. Fred nodded.

"Okay then, but how do you think it will look if someone has sparkles on their head and you're the one that put them there, and you burst out in maniacal laughs?" I asked them.

"Good point, AshLey!" said Fred.

"What less did you expect?" I asked, smirking.

"Alright, what rule did you break?" asked George the know-it-all.

"None yet, but now that you mention it…" I replied, and disapparated, leaving the two twins to wonder where I had gone and when, if I would return.

They didn't have long to wait, for just 3 minutes later, I came back in an oversized, overly bright rainbow tie-dye T-shirt, black leggings, and my huge white winter boots. Completely aware of my oh-so-amazing fashion sense.

"And what bloody rule is that supposed to break?" asked Fred, trying and failing to stifle his laughter. I mock-pouted.

"Rule 11, students must wear robes and full Hogwarts uniform while attending class," I replied, fake tears streaming from my eyes.

**A/N : Hope you enjoyed!**

**AshLey : Now send us a bucketful of reviews!**

**Me : Flames will be laughed at - I'm not a quitter, a cunty shit, or a bitch LOLZ!**


	20. An Untraceable Party

**Author's Note : Well, thanks to-**

**AshLey : Guest reviewer pudding, Jay Foren, and Iron Mikan Frost-Elric-Uzumaki!**

**Me : For reviewing.**

**AshLey : FRUIT FIGHT!**

**Me : (grabs bucket of fruit) PREPARE TO DIE.**

**Disclaimer : (splashes and crashes heard in distance).**

**AshLey (very faintly) : NOT HERS!**

The Twentieth Day!

It was once again a Hogsmeade weekend. Well, today my dearest apprentices had work to do. So I planned to break Rule 51, by bringing them back a drink they were so intent on trying - illegally. Rule 51 : Alcohol and tobacco are strictly prohibited on Hogwarts grounds. Butterbeer may be consumed in Hogsmeade, but may not be brought back to the school. Well, that would be easy. I had offered to throw a party celebrating Gryffindor's latest win, most were coming. I had to have a big shebang. So, I walked casually into the empty Hog's Head. The bartender popped his head out from under the bar.

"Ah yes, Miss Robin. Back for the usual, I suppose?" asked Aberforth, grabbing the Firewhisky.

"I would be glad for a bottle of Firewhisky, but I've also come here for somethin' else. Look, I need about 96 bottles o' Butterbeer, and 48 of Firewhisky. And, of course, the usual. Think you can handle it?" I asked him. He nodded, and pushed over my glass of Firewhisky. I drank it, and watched as he pulled a few cases of the drinks from his cellar. I thanked him, and handed over the reasonable amount of money - 22 Galleons and 10 Sickles for the whole lot. Sure, the Firewhisky was double the price of the Butterbeer, but I knew it was well worth it. Anyways, the Hog's Head had dirt cheap drinks, anywhere else it would have been much more expensive.

"Thank you, Aberforth," I thanked him, and turned to leave.

"Any time," he replied, and I walked out the door.

Late that night, at almost 10 PM, the Gryffindor common room was fully set up. The room had been barricaded by none other than myself. Sound wards, Disillusionment wards, security wards, and a password-protected ward. The common room had also been enlarged, to accommodate a large drinks table, with Butterbeer, Firewhisky, a large bowl of Squirt-free punch, and a considerably smaller bowl of punch with Squirt in it. There was also a snacks table, which had dozens of delicious treats, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Acid Pops, all the wizard candies, and a specific selection of Muggle candies - Mars Bars, Snickers, Coffee Crisp, and so many more. It was the usual for my parties, minus the Firewhisky. But that would be monitored.

At 10 PM exactly, students began sneaking down from their dormitories, saying the password, and entering the joyous party. There were games, as well, and various decorations. Anyone who hadn't said the password would have just seen myself, Fred, and George. It was perfect.

I also broke a law that day - alcohol may not be given to minors. But hey, it was a party, and Fred, George, myself, and most of the Quidditch team were drunk. But it didn't matter, as soon as one stepped out of the party, the alcohol would be fully removed from their systems. It was an Untraceable party. I seriously believe some people there started to consider me to arrange their parties.

**A/N : Thanks once more to my reviewers! Just so you know, Jay Foren, I do have a few chapters where she breaks more than one rule planned out, but the thing is, there are 300 rules and only 294 days, and I plan to have AshLey break at least one rule each day. I do hope you enjoyed this lovely chapter.**

**AshLey : We had better get some more reviews, so do type in that lovely box down there!**


	21. I Have a Perfect Idea For This Monday!

**Author's Note : Hello!**

**AshLey : Hello!**

**Me : Not you, it's the author's note!**  
**AshLey : Well, not really the author's note, more like the authors' note!**

**Me : True.**

**Disclaimer :**

**AshLey : Not hers.**

**Me : Then whose is it?**

**AshLey : J.K. Rowling brought you the plot and characters. Warner Bros. brought you the clips. Starkid brought you the music.**

**Me : You sure do have a way of wording. Anyways, read and review!**

The Twenty-First Day!

"How much more of this do we have to take? We've already been here 3 weeks, and I'm bored out of my mind!" I ranted, kicking a dummy.

"How can you be bored, aren't you supposed to be thinking up rules to break?" asked Fred.

"I have a perfect idea for this Monday!" I realized.

"You mean today?" asked George, clearly not amused.

"Let us go against rule 96, students are not to swim in or boat on the Black Lake, unless they have gathered permission from a faculty member!" I exclaimed.

"Isn't that stupid, we'd be breaking rules in broad daylight!" protested Fred.

"Fine," I sulked. "Go to your classes, you can catch me flirtin' with Gregory."

The two, surprisingly enough, actually went to their classes. I transfigured a table from last night into a boat, shrunk it, placed it into my pocket, and apparated down to the Black Lake.

"Heya Squiddy," I said to the Giant Squid. "You ticklish?"

He failed to reply, so I took out my boat and placed it in the water. I got in, charming the small raft to sail rapidly around the Black Lake. I sat down, and got on the ride.

30 minutes and 2 gallons of puke later, I got off the brilliant ride, put the boat in my pocket, and apparated back to the Gryffindor common room. Classes and homework neglected in favor of a boat roller coaster, life was well…

**A/N : And still is!**

**AshLey : Absolutely.**

**Me : Now, back to that fruit fight…**

**AshLey : What fru- (gets hit in face by peach) Oh, you're on!**

**Me : Thanks to for reviewing on the last chapter, and I hope to hear from you again!**

**AshLey : Shut up!**

**Me : Nev- (receives nectarine in mouth)**

**AshLey : But she's right, do review!**


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